T-Bucket

Who does this to their child?

My sweet, sweet boy

Trevor....Oh Trevor. My sweet and sensitive child. His soul is kind, his determination strong. Trevor is such a little Italian boy. I sometimes say that I should have named him Carmine, or Anthony cause the kid loves pasta, makes everyone feel welcomed, and is stubborn as a mule. My grandma Rose would have loved this child. Truth is, most everyone loves this boy. There's just something about him that is special. Trevor is a feeler. He can walk into a room and sense the mood...and adjusts to it. I think he can really tell between the kids that like him and the kids who think he's too small to play ball...little do those kids know how darn good he is!!! But he adjusts. We all know the benefits that Darren is reaping because of his wonderful brother. Trevor is so patient and kind, and most importantly...accepting of his brother. He knows Darren is different in some way, but he loves him with all of his heart and soul. When TREVOR says something to Darren, Darren listens and will follow him, pee with him:), or repeat him. It's a wonderful thing to see. I also think that Trevor has benefited from Darren as well. Trevor has learned at a very early age the ability to pick up on non-verbal cues, body language, and underlying emotion. The "Autism Whisperer" of sorts. These are things that are almost impossible to teach...but he's had to adjust...and he makes it work...and because of that...he makes miracles happen. Maybe that sounds over the top. But I see it all the time.

AND Trevor loves his Daddy. They have wonderful bond and understanding of one another. I imagine that Mark was a lot like Trevor when he was young. I think that because of this, Mark is more protective of Trevor. I am probably more protective of Darren. Balance. It's what makes it all work I guess. I am already in awe of Trevor. He has more personality, and talent, and IT than I could ever imagine in a 4 year old. Proud doesn't even cut it. I can't wait to watch his life unfold....many more great things to come !!!!

It Hit the Floor, Not the Fan

I know that I said that I would be writing about Trevor next. I promise that I will. But we have some VERY exciting news to share. Last night, Darren peed in the potty 5 times!!!!!! And of course, there is a story that goes along with it. A very funny story indeed. It was around 2:30 yesterday afternoon. My day had already been scattered. So as Trevor played outside, while I unloaded groceries...Darren was playing with his toys in the other room. Or so I THOUGHT! As I rounded the corner, I sensed trouble. Darren had taken off his diaper and pooped on the floor. Not the hardwood floor mind you, the CARPET. I was furious!!!!! I must say that I think one the things that I have always done well is that I treat Darren like I would any other child. That being said, I was furious!!!! I took his hand and told him that poop and pee-pee go in the potty from now on and that he needed to sit on the potty while mommy cleaned up this mess. Needless to say, Stone Cold Darren Dieste did not move. He knew exactly what he had done and that I was mad. Potty training Darren was not on my Monday afternoon agenda. But I had to make a point. I went upstairs, grabbed some underwear, set the timer and started putting him on the potty every 30 min. Once he got there, I made him sit for 5 minutes. The determination that took over my body is unexplainable. After 2 hours of this...a miracle occurred. He went!!! I was SOOO excited, I can't believe that anyone reading this didn't hear me screaming! "YOU DID IT...YOU DID IT!!!! He was just as happy...and was attempting to say the same....DD-DD. What a moment. He peed four more times last night, and tried twice this morning. He knows it's a big deal and I can tell that he feels like a big boy. HOORAY for Darren! HOORAY!!!

Connection

No Doubt...

We belong together

Children bring such perspective to our lives. I am going to talk about just Darren today. Trevor will have his own write up next. Fair and balanced:) Amidst all that has transpired with Darren, I love this child deeply, with all my heart and soul. I admire him. I watch my four year old get on a bus everyday...and I await his big brown eyes to arrive home in the afternoon. Our connection is deep. I always say that Darren isn't a typical anything. Yes he lives with autism, but he lives. He is a happy soul, who loves to laugh and play, who kisses AFFECTIONATELY, who enjoys being around people, and who can connect with others. What is typically autistic about that? Working with Darren is such a learning experience. All children learn so differently, but Darren's delays are so obvious in certain areas. I watch him intently when I ask him to label the flash cards shown...I literally watch the wheels turn...his eyes scanning...mind processing....mouth/hands starting to move....then a response. SO much work for him. I remind myself constantly, " He can't talk" imagine how frustrating that is. The thing is, that we do know in a way. Think of all the times that we "emotionally" have things to say...but can't...due to fear of hurting someones feelings or fear of letting your true passions be revealed. WHATEVER the case may be, when the moment passes, you feel frustrated with yourself. You weren't able to speak your mind. Darren just experiences this a 100 times a day. So why is he so happy? Maybe because it's all that he has every known. Maybe because as he learns even one new sign, or makes one connection, some of that frustration is released. There's one thing for sure, he is loved, and I know he feels it. Would I like for him to talk?...of course. Will I be devastated if he doesn't....absolutely not. He already communicates so much to me and to others. I just want to make sure that we are providing him with every opportunity to reach his potential. And he's got plenty of it!!!!!

What Do You See?

No surprise, I instantly saw the profiles of Darren and Trevor. I love this picture. I was looking for something different, deeper...something to think about. I am a thinker. I expend a lot of energy on my thoughts...sometimes too much. Which may be the reason that I backed my car into a tree yesterday! Always so in thought that I forget to pay attention to details...like trees behind me. I guess I find myself on the brink of 35 wondering what this world is all about. Pondering all the phrases that I have heard a million times, but never heartfully considered.

Don't worry, Be Happy
Don't sweat the little things
Everything happens for a reason
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all
Live a life of purpose
God only gives you what you can handle

Yes, it's that kind of day for me. Perplexed by this world. I am a believer that things happen for a reason. I am impatient though. I KNOW things will work out...but I don't want to wait too long. Then, when I start to doubt, amazingly it comes back to me full circle. I love that concept as well...coming full circle. It's like God is saying, "SEE silly...I told you it would all work out...just trust me next time". Basically JUST BELIEVE. So on this nasty, cold, and icy day, I will breathe and believe and relax to the best of my ability and try to put my thoughts to rest.

More Than Words

I absolutely find them fascinating! It's wonderful to watch them these days. They have been together EVERYDAY for over four years now, but NOW is when it is all coming together. Trevor is a wonderful brother. Darren is not a typical anything. So their magic is a miracle. We went to the mall the other day to play in the play area, which we have done many times before. But this time, they played TOGETHER the entire time. Darren wanted Trevor to chase him. Trevor obliged...they'd laugh...and did it over and over again....without words. I did intervene at one point and started making Darren say "g" for get and them put his hand to his chest to indicate "me". THEN, the chase would begin. Their laughter is contagious because it seems impossible. How do they understand each other SO well? How do they communicate without words? Darren initiates play with Trevor now, and Trevor loves it...he's been waiting for it for so long now. The time has come:) AND We are seeing such great improvement in Darren's socialization and sound production. What a TEAM!

Candy

This was taken this week! He is trying SOOO hard. Here we are working on sounds. I show him the flash card with the letter on it, and he says the sound. After he gets a couple correct, he is rewarded with candy. Listen to this voice!!!! So proud of him.

A Conversation from the Heart

As we approach Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share a conversation between Trevor and his cousin Jacob that warmed my heart. We were all in the car and unfortunately, I can't remember how it started...
Trevor may have said something like: " Ya know Darren can't talk".
Jacob: "I know, and I feel really bad for him. But he is doing so great and has come so far."
Trevor: "But we are teaching him."
Jacob: "Well even though he can't talk yet, at least he has sign language to help him tell us what he wants."
Trevor: "I know sign language"
Jacob: "I know how to sign my name" (He correctly signs each letter)
Trevor: "ME too" (He makes up every single letter :)
We all laugh!

I was touched at the realness of the conversation. Kids pay attention and notice things. Just when you think they aren't, the truth is that they already have it all figured out!