Frosty The Snowman

Merry Christmas to all!!!!

There is Light at the End of the Tunnel

Yes, I am happy, even giddy, I admit it. Full Day Kindergarten looks great on me:) I love those boys, BUT it was time!!! Time for all to move forward, learn from others...separation of church and state sounds better by the day. No, I didn't cry....I did contain myself...I didn't pump my fist in the air yelling YES, finally either:) Ironically I am reading the book "Happiness NOW"...can I get A-men!

(Mark, on the other hand, would like me to consider homeschooling the boys...hahahaha)

Trevor is taking Kindergarten in stride. But he's also been waiting for it since the last day of pre-school in May. He seems to really love it. The class has about 20 kids. He reported someone ("not me Mommia, I promise") kissing in line on the first day. He said he told the teacher, lol. Oh my...here we go again!

Darren's transition has not been as smooth. He made a good first impression alright, with his teeth! That's Darren for you...leaves his mark wherever he goes. It's a new school, new teacher, new students, many new transitions and demands. It will take time for him to get settled, as it always does.

A new chapter.........

First Day of Kindergarten!!!!!!!!!

AND HE READS.....

This doesn't surprise me.....he's on a roll now!!! Great job Trevor!!!

OH and Darren's phrase of the day: "Walk the path"

Ya know sometimes I feel like I am living that movie "Field of Dreams"...I mean if one day he says "If you build it, they will come" I will officially know that God has a true sense of humor:)

My Baseball Boys

THIS IS DARREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, this is a long video.....but probably one of my favorites thus far. I think when you watch it you'll see why:)

Trevor is certainly very talented for his age. He naturally loves sports and is innately competitive. The hard part is teaching him things like leadership, the importance of being humble, and ironically....the importance of being a good student on and off the field. Go ahead and laugh everyone...yes.....this is a "full circle' moment. SO about a week ago we were getting ready to go to bed and I was super tired "shock" and I think Darren was in bed watching a movie and Trevor was not ready to hit the hay quite yet. So I suggested that he get some books and we could relax and read some books together. Honestly I was just hoping that I could close my eyes while he looked at the pictures:) but he seemed interested in reading so I sat up and regrouped and began pointing at the words...simple words...his demeanor instantly changed. He got VERY silly and shy-like. I am thinking what is going on with this kid.....instant freak out flashes occurred:

"Oh god...does he have a learning disability...have I been paying too much attention to Darren that I missed it????????"

"Oh I am a terrible mom who hasn't read to her child and now he is severely behind!!!!!!!"

"Does he need a tutor at the age of five? Do they have such things?" Good lord how much is that going to cost????????"

and then it hits.....

"OH NO...he takes after ME!!!!!!!"

I broke out in a light sweat and tried not to expose my total freak out mode...and I collected myself. Deep breath, deep breath.....I then think I handled myself very well. I wiped the sweat from my brow and went into a deep discussion on the importance of being smart. Acting stupid isn't' funny...it's just stupid. We started breaking down the words and he struggled. He was trying so hard to please me......or be cute and funny....that he wasn't thinking. I can promise all that I drilled this concept into his little curly head:) and we talked about it a lot now and have made reading our new goal for the summer.

No rest for the weary around here, that's for sure. Darren is on the up swing right now. Lots of talking....even calls me Pam on occasion...HA! He started summer school and has surprisingly adjusted extremely well. There were a lot of new faces this summer and I was worried that he was going to be miserable....I even considered not sending him, but decided that wasn't the best decision for me. I love him dearly.....but to be with him 24/7 all summer was probably not the best for all. SO, hesitantly, I sent him and it has all worked out wonderfully. Who knew...

I will share one last story about Darren which I know I will NEVER EVER forget...and I am extremely happy that I had my mom as a witness. I had just gotten home from working with some clients and was sharing my experiences with my mom. My work right now keeps me very centered and I enjoy the challenge. It helps motivate me to try new things with Darren and also accept and recognize how far he has come. So as I was telling my mom this, Darren comes around me and I look at him and say" you amaze me" AND I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU THAT HE RESPONDED WITH THESE EXACT WORDS

Darren: "Believe"

Me: "Believe?"

Darren: "I'm not broken"

Needless to say, my mom and I cried our eyes out. It brings tears to my eyes now. It was a true divine message that needed to be heard on that particular day.

So I will end this by saying......I do believe:)

Watch out Jonas Brothers!!!

Trevor got an exclusive opportunity to sing with THE Calabash Flash!!! aka Grandpap

TO GOD BE THE GLORY...check it out now

The Color Book

We, Amy (speech therapist) and I, have been working on labeling pictures in this book so when he pick it up yesterday and just started labeling independently....it brought tears to my eyes.

The hard work is really starting to pay off:)

T Ball and Talking

Yeah, I can talk now...Got a problem with that!:)

Big Hitter:) Go Blue Rockets!

Bikes, T-ball, Talking, and Everything Else in Between

Needless to say, we have been busy. Both boys are riding two wheel bikes. I find this shocking actually because I really did nothing to teach either of them. I literally took of the training wheels and Trevor rode down the street...WHAT??? only Trevor. But then a week later Darren up Trevor's bike and wanted to try. So...for a half hour I follow behind him carefully helping him maintain his balance. Half of Darren's problem was that he was being so careful...and riding very slow. Once he picked up the pace enough to keep his balance he was off and riding!!!! The love riding their bikes...trust me....it's the first thing Darren requests as soon as we get out the car.

Yes, I can officially say that Darren is talking. I used to hesitate in saying so because it was just some words and not always understood by all. But I can honestly say that he has found his voice. He is pointing and labels things like clock, tree, circle, fan, and certainly any food items. He is even doing 3 word phrases....his favorite being...I want gum! 123 go! one more time! 2 more minutes:) When I say I love you.....he says "so much". He is seriously trying to repeat just about everything...he even attempts to sing parts of the song Poker Face...hahaha To say that we are thrilled with this new stage is an understatement. We feel blessed. It is so exciting watching him discover and connect. Mind you....he is still Darren...feisty as hell...but he is truly coming into his own.

Trevor and his team, The Blue Rockets, are enjoying their season. They currently have 2 games a week and will continue until the first week of June. Trevor is doing great. I on the other hand am so bothered by the new version on T-ball. Don't even get me started:) I am just a big believer that sports are an easy way to teach young kids simple life lessons. When you get a big hit, you should get to run more than one base. When one team scores more than the other team....they win. I know...it's just t-ball...they should be just having fun. Do you that as a kid I used to hate when my coaches would say that??? You can teach the kids to work hard, practice, play well and win. Trust me, that's fun. AND there is nothing wrong with losing! Again, a teachable moment....ANYWAYS....he enjoys it and is doing very well.

Let's see...what else....ummmm Oh the business! Things are going very well. Sports camps are a big hit! We finished our first 8-week session and have started up two new sessions on Mondays and Thursdays. Trevor and Darren attend both and we are really enjoying them. We have a great team of people working the camps and all of the kids are reaping the benefits of that. Things have progressed quicker than expected, but it's all good, not complaining:)

I will try to get some video of Darren talking and Trevor playing T-ball for the next post!

April 2nd.....World Autism Awareness Day

Did everyone know that there was such a thing as "World Autism Awareness Day"! Well, now ya know:) Perfect timing actually because I have been debating recently with this question: What is this autism thing all about?

I obviously watch Darren and feel like I know that kid inside and out. With the company I have been able to meet new children and see autism in a different light. It may sound strange, but I find autism fascinating. I am perplexed by it. I am intrigued with it. I am not sure how to deal with it.......but it's ok to me. There are some things in this world that you just can't understand...Autism is one of them. There are things in this world that you can't prove....Autism is one of those things. THAT is not what bothers me about Autism. It is the differences in each child that make me wonder what this is all about. How come there are kids that have words....like hundreds of words...and then lose them???????????? WHAT? How come there are kids that never have words??????????? How come there are kids that are really sick and have major digestive issues?????? How is it there are kids that don't have those issues?? Why is it that some have "conversational" speech ? Why can't the others? SERIOUSLY the spectrum is HUGE! Way too big as far as I am am concerned. I feel that in the long run....Autism will be broken down into MANY different categories:

Those who had speech and lost speech

Those with a large gap between receptive and expressive language

Those with no expressive language

Those with HIGH expressive language and no social skills

Those with some social skills and little expressive language

Those with extreme behaviors, yet are highly intelligent

HONESTLY...the list could go on and on and on. As every typically developing child differs....so does the autistic child. So I will from this point on...focus on what I know to be true.....from a personal perspective.

These children are a blessing. These children are so smart and intuitive.......even beyond our comprehension. They are sent here as a challenge and a gift. A challenge to the norm.... a gift for those with ability to be willing to accept. They are a reminder that life can be rewarding if you continue to fight. They are a blessing to those that take on the challenge...if you can love and provide structure for these kids......you will reap the benefits above and beyond your expectations. I believe that God gives you ONLY what you can handle......parents of children with special needs are given an assignment from the get go....not to say the everyone else at some point isn't given their "assignment" because I believe that everyone will experience a major life challenge. Special needs parents just get the advantage of knowing early on.

I, on this day of awareness, don't want anyone to feel sorry for Darren or our family. KNOW that he is a blessing in our lives. An unexplainable gift. I can not imagine my life without him. I can't imagine the person that I would be...or the person that Trevor would be without this remarkable child. In 5 years....he and I have learned SO much. I have been challenged more than ever....and I can't imagine it any other way. So I say, be aware, accept the differences in all children, and be supportive of those you love.

THANK YOU to all that have supported us. Thank for understanding that it hasn't been easy. Thank you for accepting us as is. Know that we appreciate you all!

These are the Days of our Lives

This is an email that I wrote recently to Darren and Trevor's teachers and therapist.....after re-reading it again, I thought that it was a good insight into our life these days. We are all seem to be climbing to new heights:)
Hi everyone,

You all know me so well by now that I just have to be honest with you all. I am beginning to have a greater understanding of both of my children and their unique needs. I thankfully feel confident that if we can all communicate then we can all provide consistency for both.
I will start with Trevor. Honestly, I can't recall what actually started the conversation. I was sitting talking with Grandma about the behavior's that Grandma is seeing with Darren when I am gone on my weekend meetings. He is not listening and is not being compliant at all with grandma and daddy. This, along with the sports camps that he is participating in WITH Darren has started to bring new awareness.....Trevor and I are seeing a different side of Darren. A more realistic side.....maybe a more holistic side....and we are both trying to process it. Trevor, for the first time, really wanted to discuss it. I wish I could do it justice....but he spoke with insight and perspective and compassion and confusion and with genuine love and concern for his brother and for the family. It was amazing and emotional and deep. It was also funny at times to hear him compare Darren with Godzilla and himself with Mothra. He also observed that Darren did not speak English...maybe he spoke another language.........and the conversation went on and on. I was able to talk about school next year...about how Darren's brain was different than his....that he learns different....and that he needs special teachers that understand him. We went around and took turns saying all the good things that Darren does, then we did the bad things. Trevor's major concern was that Darren did not have self control....he was truly perplexed by that. "Why did God make him like that?" It went on for at least 30/40 min.......and I was in tears listening to this wonderfully honest and insightful 5 year old perspective tell me that Darren was in his heart and "I know, I know mommia, I know Darren loves me too."

Darren is exhibiting some extreme behaviors in my book. Attention seeking, escape and compliance behaviors that are at a very high level OR due to various schedule changes and demands maybe I am seeing Darren's strengths and weakness in a new light. The way that I deal with Darren in our environment is one thing, but the mixture of situations that he is being exposed to now are bringing about more issues. I get it now more than ever. Know that I am aware and working on things....please be honest and forthright about behaviors that you are seeing. Hitting, kicking, scratching, laughing, door obsessing, and extreme silliness. Lisa and I are currently brainstorming some new ideas that we hope will be able to be carried out in each environment.

Don't get me wrong, one of the things I love about both my children is that they are emotional, they care, and I know that they are trying very hard in their own unique ways. As we approach kindergarten with new awareness and new growth I feel it's important for all of those that know and love them to be a part of this. I am learning too, and truly appreciate and welcome everyone's idea's, help, and support.

A new page has turned. I see an awareness in Trevor that is fresh, and real, and good. I feel the passion in Darren's stubborn heart that keeps him fighting for attention, and love, and connection. At times I hate being the one that has to be so consistently firm with him when he is one of these "fighting" cycles. Inside I want to cry, but that would mean that I would be feeling sorry for him, and I refuse to do that. Darren is worth fighting for and with...he is smart and lovable just mixed with a little bit of pit bull:) And Trevor does not back down from this challenge either. He seems stronger and more determined with this new more holistic view of his brother...I will never in my whole life forget that night that his heart just opened. When he finally felt safe enough to ask the questions that he must have been wondering for some time now. Here I had been so worried about sitting down and talking to Trevor about Darren prior to Kindergarten.....and in that moment...it all just came to light. A miracle for sure.

Wrestle Mania

Now that we have changed their room around, they love to wrestle. It's fun to watch them. Trevor is more aggressive than Darren...until Darren gets pushed a little too far. Then he scratches or kicks. But I think it's good for them to learn each others limits!

Piece By Piece is coming along very well. We are starting our sports camps in March, possible educational camp in April, and holding our first social outing and date night in April as well. We are getting great feedback from parents and look forward to getting to know these families.

Trevor's preschool will be singing at mass this Sunday. This should be fun to watch. We have still been enjoying church...Darren most of all:) He seems to be at peace there...hard to believe maybe...but it's true. Maybe God is whispering things in his ear:)

Darren continues to do well at school these days. He seems more aware, more connected, and more verbal. It is wonderful to watch the transformation. Darren is also learning how to dress himself this week. He is stubborn, hates pulling the shirt over his head, but I bet he'll be doing it totally independent by next week.

And I am overwhelmed, excited, nervous, anxious, and proud of all of the above!

Still Football Season Around Here

Trevor, as you all know, loves football. Well, it seems as though Darren has caught the bug as well. This has just happened recently. Trevor and I used to "force" him to play at times. Which usually only consisted of a throw or a tackle or something simple. But lately, Darren really wants to play and is even initiating it! It is wonderful to see them playing together. I appreciate Trevor being a good sport. It has taken time to get Trevor to let Darren play. Football was his thing....and his little 5 year old attitude would arise:) Trevor has learned so many important lessons, at such an early age. His over sensitive soul drives me crazy sometimes....but I know that you can't teach that kind of "heart"yet time can mold it and balance it.

This next video is just Darren and I practicing a bit:) Darren is really on a roll these days. More interactive, more verbal, and always lovable.

Loves "Homework"

Happy February

I was on a roll there for awhile in consistently updating information and photos. Not so much these days:( So this will contain a plethora of information, photos. and videos. The most exciting news to report is that Lisa and I are following our dream of creating our own business. We have named it:

Piece By Piece

"Shaping Their World One Piece At A Time"

Needless to say...we are very excited! Please check out the newly launched website:
www.inclusiveabaservices.com

Our goal is provide a family centered multi-inclusive approach to therapy for special needs kids. I feel extremely fortunate to have this opportunity and working with Lisa is great. Certain aspects of the program will begin as early as March!!!

Trevor is truly turning into a Rock Star. I am amazed at his moves, his singing, and stage (coffee table) presence. I know that many of you have seen this video...but it's worth watching again!

Darren took part in this dance party!

Darren is progressing very well. He's on a roll right now. Typical. When Darren is doing well, Trevor is a little off....and vice versa. They have ALWAYS been like that. He is still enjoying swimming and ever since winter break, has been doing really well at school and in speech therapy. The boys have been doing "homework" together in the evenings. I am trying to get Darren back to some table time work again. I have been so impressed with his pre-writing skills. He really has come a long way.

Trevor and Darren continue grow at their own pace. Their personalities are shining through more and more each day. Trevor continues to be our emotional, passionate, and talented soul. He is inspiring, tiring, and sweet. Darren is really enjoying going to church on Sundays. He is just very happy there. It been wonderful hearing his voice...he loves pointing...especially at me. He usually follows it with...IloveuIloveuIloveuIloveu....I write in that way because that exactly how it sounds. He is flourishing in so many ways...

We just so enjoy watching their personalities unfold.