With the good, comes difficult times. I find myself watching a shift in relationship between the boys. As they approach 5, I find good hearted Trevor longing for normal relationships with friends. I also see Darren trying so hard to connect....just a little late. It's hard as a mom to watch this honestly. I know that Trevor needs these relationships, but I also know how much Darren learns and enjoys his brother....yet Trevor needs another life outside of this...trust me...THIS I know. Maybe I am selfishly sad because I miss my partner. I have relied on my typically developmentally child too much maybe. I need to take the wheel for awhile and remember that Darren is MY responsibility....not Trevor's. I never want Trevor to feel that Darren is a burden. As we approach the school age years, I worry. I said to Mark this weekend that we need to sit down with Trevor soon and really explain Darren to him. So that when he gets to school....he knows. That is going to be hard. It makes me teary just thinking about it.
I am struggling tonight because I feel like Darren is on the verge of a major breakthrough and I feel that I am the only one who gets the privilege of seeing it on a daily basis. I bet that many other parents must share this perspective on some level.
It's hard sometimes...life is what it is. Trevor grows.....and so does Darren...just on different time schedules. Yet I have no control.....I need to just watch, trust, and learn. I'm trying...........
