Classical Cardio

I finished my run on the treadmill today and felt great. God love Darren for staying by my side and cheering me on. He gives me that cute pointer finger approval...or yells at me if I attempt to stop and snag a drink of water..not kidding about that. So, I asked him if he wanted a turn. He seemed interested so I put his shoes on...mind you he's in his underpants...how perfect is that! So off he went. I then decided to turn on some classical music. Good choice. He smiled and seemed to really enjoy himself. He walked 3/4 of a mile!

BOWLING!!

What fun!!! We met Kirsten and Mer at the bowling alley and literally had a ball! Darren had never been bowling. I had a feeling he would like it and he did. The best thing that could have happened was Big Brown wiping out on the slick lane when he crossed "the line" when we first got there! He certainly didn't try THAT again. And guess who wanted to be first???? Trevor of course:) We played on a lane with the bumpers...but still....Trevor did awesome...103! That kid is ridiculous. Darren used the kid ramp to get the ball down the lane. He loved watching the ball roll down the lane and then would jump up and down when the pins would fall. Too cute. There is just something about bowling...SO fun. We topped in off with a great dinner at Artie's..YUM!!!

Fall Fun

The weekend certainly was as busy as we had expected it to be. The race was great! Of course the morning did not go as expected. Darren rarely sleeps past 6:30. So I never worry about setting an alarm of any sorts...ever. Darren is the human alarm in this house. So when I heard Jen and her friend Ang knocking on the door...I knew something was up. It was 7:20! Holy moly. Nothing like waking up, getting dressed and running a 5k! But that's what happened. Truro put on a great event that was a lot of fun for all.

The boys and I headed back to church on Sunday. Again, with great success. Darren is starting to get comfortable going to Truro in general. Last week when we dropped off Trevor, Darren decided that he wanted to check out Trevor's classroom, so he just walked right in and started exploring. It was interesting actually. He was definitely checking the place out! Then when we came back to pick up Trevor, which we have to go downstairs to do....downstairs is also where he has the WEE Worship on Sundays. Well, again he was looking around like, hey, I was here the other day. He even went into the chapel area and was walking around. Interesting. Darren seems happy in church. He likes the music and the acoustics. He likes when I sing in his ear:) He even let out some louder sounds when the music was loud. Even a blurted out a word that could have been an "Amen" but who's to know! haha Our wonderful helper was there and things seemed to go a little better this time.

Swimming lessons were GREAT! Darren did 10 times better this week! He had the same wonderful gentleman and he didn't fight it this time. He was laughing and really and truly almost swimming. He is very close. This man earned his stripes with Darren quickly and Darren made huge improvements because of it. I got teary watching it. He was trying so hard, and having fun, and not yelling MA-MA at the top of his lungs:) Trevor is learning a lot too. He's learning how to push off the wall and then swim, and how to float on his back, and just some good basic techniques. Great program!

AND the REDSKINS WON---woo HOO!

My Nike Commercial

At least that's what I pretend every time I run the trial Burke Lake, which I try to do twice a week. I pump up my ipod and hit it! Tuesday's inspiring song was "Live Your Life" by T.I. featuring Rihanna. Think I listened to that song like 4 times in a row and every time the song went "Just live your life HEY ehe ehe ehe" I would raise my left arm and pump it in the air. Even let out a HEY or a HO....loudly!!! I could care less what the heck other walkers/runners think. I enjoy my time on the trail. I try to go with the flow of the trial. Glide down the slopes...push it up the inclines. Ebb and flows...ups and downs. In the moment, I am a Nike Commercial. Just do it....Just live your life. Love it.

Thursday's run was a different story. I just kept telling myself, JUST KEEP MOVING! My body felt so blah. That's how is goes sometimes. It's a these times you have to mentally challenge yourself. Thank god for music. I am so inspired by music. So much so sometimes that I run in tempo with whatever song is playing. This weekend Jen and I are running in a 5K that benefits Trevor's pre-school. Running in an event is a totally different experience as well. Should be fun!

Busy weekend ahead. Mark returns, the Run, Birthday Party, Church-Round 2, Swim Lessons, and hopefully some good football!

Just Live Your Life!

CHURCH

I called my dad last week and when he picked up the phone I asked him, " Did you feel the heaven's shake?"

Dad: No, why?

ME: Because Trevor and I went to church!!!!

Needless to say, it had been awhile. Truro is such a wonderful community....I know that Trevor has always been comfortable there and I have always enjoyed mass when I've been. I like it there because the service is upbeat. Lots of singing. People seem happy. I just didn't know if I could really feel part of a spiritual community. I don't know where I am with this at this stage of life. But when looking through the bulletin, I noticed a program. Recreation and Respite for special needs children and their siblings....Sat, Oct. 11 from 6-9pm. HUH???? I read it again. Yes, I read it correctly. WOW...I'm impressed! I couldn't have been better timing. Mark is on a golf trip and getting a break on a Saturday, just doesn't happen. So I signed them up.

So they went last night! They had sent me an agenda and form to fill out. When it asked what to do when behaviors should arise..I laughed and thought...I don't have enough pages to explain the various tactics. So I kept it simple. I found that these volunteers/buddies were phenomenal. As I walked in to pick them up, I instantly was surrounded by people telling me how wonderful they did. What a good sweet boy Trevor was. I listened and thanked everyone for their kindness...but didn't see Darren. I look on the little stage and I see a boy...probably around 8 years old...playing with Darren. Taking time to PLAY with Darren. I froze. Darren was laughing...didn't even know I was there. One of the volunteers then came up to me and just started telling me everything about the night...some transition problems for Darren...boo-boo for Trevor...but all were wonderful...accepting...and so very kind.

As we gather to leave. I see someone approaching me. Another wonderful volunteer who at first could have been speaking in tongues because I was just so overwhelmed with gratitude and shock! She went on to ask if I ever bring them to church, and if so she would be willing to help out and be Darren's buddy. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE! Is what I am thinking....she wants me to bring Darren to church???? Is the congregation ready??? hahaha SO, I said yes. If you are willing to help me, I will be here tomorrow at 8:30.

And we did, and there she was. As soon as she spotted us she came over to sit with us. WHAT? Darren was doing so well. We just had to make it through the first reading and then they are taken downstairs to WEE WORSHIP....how cute is that???? Darren liked the music...was jumping around, but quiet. Of course, there was an older gentleman that turned to him and said, "now go and sit down" ..........Typical:)! So, my new helper signaled to me and said kindly, "let's head down there a little early to give Darren time to get adjusted." WOW

(I am sorry to get into so much detail, but it is helping me process what just happened today. Its was just awesome)

The little chapel was set up for these little tykes...and the volunteers were ready and willing and KIND...so kind. I stay for a minute and then go....trusting that my new helper can handle it....and wants to handle it. I swallow hard and return to church. Where the priest delivers a wonderful homily about how easy it is to judge and complain...but how important it is...to do as Noah did...and build an Arc. Be a leader. Do what you are called to do. Make a difference...don't judge others....make others lives better...easier...help them. GULP...

Time now to go get them. As I walk down the stairs I pray...please let there be silence. Again, I walk in to a supportive room. Where my helper says....all in all I give him an A+! Wait, what??? They liked him....they spoke so kindly of him. I know from Trevor that he struggled a bit during chapel time....but they accepted him. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Trevor was happy and had done a reading at chapel time. Couldn't breathe. THEN my helper says...OK let's go back to church!

And so we did. They did great. Darren sat on my lap and was happy. Trevor was a good boy as always. I even went to communion...and the boys came with me...and the woman asked if she could bless the boys. GULP....I felt accepted....WE were accepted, as is. It was overwhelmingly wonderful. This new person made a real difference in my life today. For that, I am thankful. Don't know what lies ahead...but today was GREAT!

WOW!

Trevor is really doing well with his writing these days. They have been working a lot at school and he has been doing his "homework" everyday. As with everything regarding Trevor, now that he is interested, he is learning fast. And when you make a big deal about it...he does even better!!! Ham!!!

POOL!

Now if you can just imagine Darren's pointer finger STRONGLY pointing towards the windows/door...knowing that we have to go outside and in the car to get there. Smart child. On Sundays the boys have started taking an Adaptive Aquatics swim class. IT IS AWESOME. It is for special needs children, but since they were low in numbers, they accepted Trevor as well. They have wonderful volunteers that worked with the kids as I just waded in the pool and occasionally signaled for Darren to cut it out and be quiet. A really nice high school boy worked with Trevor. Trevor can swim...but this class takes place in the 4 ft area...no standing. So he is really learning he fundamentals of swimming. God bless the gentleman (and I mean gentle) that worked with Darren. Darren loves the water...but didn't like the idea of being separated from Mommy too much and let's just say he let everyone know! He wasn't crying...he was just being Darren. I tell ya, there was a time I never thought I'd hear ma-ma...goodness:) He was yellin it from the mountain tops that day. He'd kick a couple times...it was like SEE..I did it now give me MA-MA , MA-MA. This patient man was not bothered. He picked up on Darren quickly and would start to bob him up and down to make him laugh..and then go again. The funniest part was when they were playing red light green light. The instructor would hold up the color and the kids would have to swim. Well, it was a green light and she said to Darren, " now come on Darren, let's see some more arms" with that he had began flaring his arms from side to side. I looked at the instructor and said, " Well, you got your arms," She replied," Yes, I DID" It was hilarious.

On Wednesdays we have been going to Oak Marr just to swim and play. That has been working out really well. Trevor likes to dive and rescue Spiderman in the water....while Darren likes to initiate "Shark" by saying...ba ba ba bum....(JAWs) his version is just ba ba. Then I chase him and kiss him of course once captured. That's the latest.

I said that I would share it all........

With the good, comes difficult times. I find myself watching a shift in relationship between the boys. As they approach 5, I find good hearted Trevor longing for normal relationships with friends. I also see Darren trying so hard to connect....just a little late. It's hard as a mom to watch this honestly. I know that Trevor needs these relationships, but I also know how much Darren learns and enjoys his brother....yet Trevor needs another life outside of this...trust me...THIS I know. Maybe I am selfishly sad because I miss my partner. I have relied on my typically developmentally child too much maybe. I need to take the wheel for awhile and remember that Darren is MY responsibility....not Trevor's. I never want Trevor to feel that Darren is a burden. As we approach the school age years, I worry. I said to Mark this weekend that we need to sit down with Trevor soon and really explain Darren to him. So that when he gets to school....he knows. That is going to be hard. It makes me teary just thinking about it.

I am struggling tonight because I feel like Darren is on the verge of a major breakthrough and I feel that I am the only one who gets the privilege of seeing it on a daily basis. I bet that many other parents must share this perspective on some level.

It's hard sometimes...life is what it is. Trevor grows.....and so does Darren...just on different time schedules. Yet I have no control.....I need to just watch, trust, and learn. I'm trying...........

Chores

We have started something new around here...CHORES. Basically, simple responsibilities for which they earn stickers...which eventually leads to toys. BUT at least they are working for them!! It makes me feel better about buying them something, that's for sure. Trevor's responsibilities include:

Sleeping in his own bed-which became an issue with Mark being gone during the week and us being "team"
Homework-working on his writing and coloring
Cleaning up-toys/games/etc
Getting dressed in the morning and brushing teeth and hair

He's doing great with it...he has always loved getting stickers:)

I am working on Darren's chart. Here's a sample of what we worked on today
Sorting silverware!! Which will lead to helping unload the dishwasher:)

All this work made him very hungry!

I really don't have words for this picture. Darren was brushing his teeth this morning by himself while Trevor showed him what to do. Now, when I try to brush Darren's teeth, he's not so happy about it. He did it by himself with no problem today...with Trevor's guidance. Is Trevor proud or what????