School Pictures

Ok, I seriously can't stand it. These pictures, to me, are just too cute. It's going to be hard to top these next year! The Holidays are certainly very exciting times. Our days seem very busy. Trust me, I am not complaining, but we are busy. Trevor got a new big boy bike for his birthday and certainly tries to squeeze in some time to ride it whenever he can. Of course, he still wants to play football whenever possible. He has also discovered Super Hero's and Scooby Doo, which is fine by me and Darren LOVES Frosty the Snowman.

I picked up Darren a little early from school yesterday in hopes to go through the torture of getting his hair cut. I usually cut it, actually, I haven't taken him to get it cut in almost a year. You see, getting his hair cut is an exhausting task because he hates it. We both leave there sweaty and tired....pretty! SO this time I walked in and apologized to all around for the crying that was soon to come. But guess what...he sat there on my lap like little Christmas angel. I couldn't believe it. Mind you...the sweetarts might have helped too, but never ever has he gone through an entire haircut without crying. What a pleasant surprise!

Enjoy the season!

Birthday Bash

WE DID IT!!!! We are proud to say that we finally had an official birthday party. Where better than Chuck E. Cheese? Gotta admit, I am one who plans for the worst. I imagined Darren freaking out with all the visual stimulation that only Chuck E. Cheese has to offer. I pictured Trevor running around in circles not knowing which friend to play with. I expected the noise level to be mind boggling and that as soon as the party was over, we would all be ready to jump ship. Does anyone else do that...plan for the worst like that? It turned out to be a great birthday bash. The Chuck E. Cheese in Fairfax did a great job for us. We brought the cake...that's it. Can't beat that! I know that Trevor could not get enough of all of his friends and was truly happy to have all share in his birthday celebration. He was seriously, so happy. Darren did great. Once again, he surprised me. He bopped around that place like he owned it.

It's a birthday party for goodness sake!!!! But after taking this particular picture, I got a bit teary eyed. As I looked around I saw some of my best friends with their kids sitting around the table. I saw pure happiness in the eyes of children. I saw Darren sitting eating his lunch with everyone else. Trevor is the blob in blue...his head is literally spinning with excitement. I, and I know I can speak for Mark as well, felt like such a proud parent. It was actually Mark's idea to do the party here. And at the end, after all the friends had left....we sat and regrouped and reflected on what a fun time we had had. Many thanks to all that were able to share in their special day. Special thanks especially to Aunt Cinnamon, Grandma, and Sharon. Couldn't have pulled off this bash without them.

Finally Four

It is extremely hard for me to believe that the boys are officially four years old. So I thought I'd reflect a bit on some of the good and some of the bad times we have shared. The first two weeks of their existence were probably the hardest of them all. Darren was borderline jaundice and Trevor had lost too much weight. So the day we left the hospital we had a mission. Feed these kids!!! Which meant around the clock feeding every two hours. I would nurse them first, then they would go downstairs and get a supplemental bottle. EVERY TWO HOURS. Thank goodness we had family around to take shifts, but even so, it was exhausting. The first night home was horrible because they didn't sleep at all. The following day we had to take the boys to the pediatrician to be weighed. So on this bitter cold day, we packed up the boys and headed out on our first journey. We had no idea what we were doing. When we got to the doctor's office we realized we had forgotten a diaper bag. No wait, it's not like we left it, we totally forgot to even pack one! Of course, they both peed all over the place. We remembered the diaper bag from that day on. We often wonder how many diapers we have changed over the years. Just having one out of diapers makes a HUGE difference. Darren just recently gave up the beloved "paci", which was a BIG step. Potty training is next on the list!

The first year is really a blur to me. I mean that. I relied so much on schedules because it was the only thing that kept me sane. For the first 18 months we drove them around for their morning nap, and the afternoon nap was usually taken in the stroller during our afternoon walk. Many thought we were CRAZY putting them in the car everyday, but it worked for us. It got me out of the house, I could listen to music, they could sleep, I could breath, and they were safely confined in car seats...PERFECT. They loved the aquarium bouncy seats, the exer-saucer, baby Einstein, and that floor gym. Darren used to seriously bat at the hanging toys, Trevor would gently touch them. Darren was more independent, Trevor was very clingy, wanted to be held all the time, especially in the evenings. We have always been thankful that the boys have always been good eaters and really healthy babies. Except the time when we ALL got the stomach flu, after picking up the bug at the mall changing table-all diapers were changed in the back of the car from that point on!!! That was truly awful.

Let's see, what else do I remember? I remember when Trevor took his first steps. Typical Trevor, it didn't take him long. With the help of lots of attention and praise, that kid went from taking one step to taking seven. Darren followed soon after. It seems that they only crawled for two weeks, maybe a little longer but, not much. They used to love chasing each other around the dining room table. That was so cute, they'd run and laugh.... To me it seems that we spent so much time in the car, I could have made the BEST commercial for the Toyota Sequoia. We did EVERYTHING in that car. The car, the park, the sprinkler in the summer and the mall in the winter....that's what I remember most.

I personally like the age that they are now. Age 2-3 was tough as well. Tantrums and diagnoses made for busy times. Even then, they have always balanced each other so well. Trevor's good day, might be Darren's bad day...and vice versa. This still holds true to this day. They are both really fun right now. Trevor is Mr. Independent and Darren is much more social these days. Family outings are fun...well...fun, but not perfect. I have to laugh because we attempted ice skating at the Reston Town center this past weekend. God bless Bunckle B (Brett) who had to deal with Mr. Independent on the ice....Trevor is still convinced that he CAN do it all by himself and is anxious to prove it to me the next time we go. Darren did not know how to take in any part of that extremely sensory experience. Overwhelmed is an understatement. He cried, but I know he like it as well and would certainly take them both again as soon as the grapefruit size bruise on my knee heals!

So, Happy Birthday boys. We love them so much and look forward to all that the future holds for you both

Trick or Treat

Who doesn't love trick or treating???? I am going to age myself a bit by talking about how fun it used to be running wildly around our neighborhood, waiting in line at each house for candy, and then running to the next house. It seems like we used to trick or treat for hours. We sure did cover a lot of ground and got a pillow case worth filled with candy. What fun.

Trevor decided on the costumes for himself and Darren this year. Not quite sure where the Spiderman craze came from because he hasn't seen the movies or anything. Who knows. But I thought he made a good choice, but we did so at the beginning of October. Which means were talking about Halloween for the entire month. Every night Trevor wanted to read the Berenstain Bears book....EVERY NIGHT! The excitement was contagious. I thought that the actual day of Halloween he would be a total mess due to over excitement. I was wrong. He handled himself well, even napped in the car and ate dinner before heading out for goodies! Trevor had tried on his costume as soon as we had brought it home at the beginning of Oct. So I had an idea of what to expect. But Darren looked so bulked up, those pretend muscles sent me into laughter....he looked more like superman than spiderman. Seeing them in their costumes really made me smile.

So we headed out on the trail. Keep in mind that we live in a townhouse community. They would have to climb a mountain of stairs for candy on this night. Which they did without complaint....just pure excitement. Trevor always wanted to be first (surprise) which was fine. He would ring the door bell and happily chime "Trick or Trick". At one of the houses the man who answered the door said,"well hello...are you spiderman". Trevor responded," no, I'm Trevor". That kid!!! Darren would stand patiently, to my surprise, while Trevor received his goodies and then I would prompt Darren to say his version of Trick or Treat. Which would basically sounded like a combined version of the TKET sounds. Not bad really. Then I would remind him to hold out his hand for candy. They did it over and over. I was really impressed honestly. We went to almost all the houses that had their lights on and then at Trevor's request, It was time to head home. We really went trick or treating. It was normal family fun. I liked that. Not all activities are easy for us. This was. Can't wait til next year!

A Day in the Life of Darren and Trevor

I want to make sure that everyone realizes that their relationship is special, but not perfect. I guess I talk so much about how wonderful they are because I think I would have been happy if they just tolerated each other. But I can actually tell that they love each other. In Darren's world, an autistic world of separating one's self, he has a brother who invades his space each and everyday. In Trevor's world, he has had to try so hard for attention and acceptance, that NOW, he has become a person who easily makes friends and is happy to please. They can't sit and have conversations. Trevor will tell you, " Darren can't talk yet, we have to teach him". But they have a connection of some kind. It's not something that I can absolutely describe, I just know in my heart that they both will be better people because they have each other.

Our version of basketball.

We have a little basketball hoop downstairs and every now and then enjoy shootin' some hoops...toddler style. Trevor does his thing, lay-ups, passing, him telling you how to play defense etc. Darren is usually observing from the stairs. When it's Darren's turn to score, Trevor say'" Darren, it's your turn." Darren immediately comes down the stairs, we make him either sign or say ball, and then will take the ball and slams it in the hoop. We clap, he jumps and flaps his hands and Trevor and I resume our game.

Football...

Trevor and I huddle and decide on a play. Trevor says," Hut one, Hut two, Hike!" He grabs the ball and runs. I grab Darren's hand and say'" Come on Darren, let's get Trevor!". As Darren begins to laugh, we run hand in hand, to get Trevor. Trevor scores a touchdown. I say,"Trevor scored a touchdown Darren" and I raise my hands. He raises his hands and looks to Trevor for a high five. They high five and we do it all over again, many, many times.

Darren HATES the word NO. What toddler doesn't. But Darren's temper is quick and fiesty. Trevor used to be hesitant to correct Darren, but not anymore. Trevor will almost too quickly tell Darren no, to which Darren will get very mad and hit. They fight like brothers, what can I say? Actually, I can honestly say that I don't mind it. I like that they are passionate. I like it when they fight. It shows emotion on both sides and it shows that they are willing to stand their own ground. That has to mean something.

I hope this gives a fair insight on their relationship. I am just SO thankful that they have each other.

Trevor

Where do I even begin??? I think that the video gives you an idea of the character that we have on our hands. Trevor has personality that is beyond my comprehension. He is an emotional, dramatic, loving, and talented little boy. From the day that child was born, he has always been the one who has been able to bring every single emotion that I have in my body, to the surface. You see, Trevor wears his emotions on his sleeve. I don't. He pushes me out of my comfort zone every single day and I'd like to think that I provide structure for him that keeps his emotions in check. A team. That's what we were when Mark went away for a week. "Mommy remember we said we were a team, and that's why I get to sleep in your bed while Daddy's gone?" Can't fight team! But in all fairness, as soon as Mark returned, he went back to his regular routine.

My favorite Trevor story is his first day of pre-school. He goes three days a week to Truro Episcopal. When I picked him up I naturally asked how his day went. He said, "we prayed." I asked him if the whole class prayed or just him. He responded," I prayed twice....I love my people, I love my mommy, my daddy, my grandma and grandpap (who were in town) I love Darren, I love my chair, and my cars....I love my people." WOW, some first day!!! He's a trip, seriously.

The thing is, he truly DOES love his people. He feels connected to people, and they to him. What inspires me most is his unconditional love for his brother. He tries SO hard to play with him, share with him, and even discipline him, but it seems easy for him to just love him. He knows that Darren doesn't talk. I think in his own way he knows that Darren is different. Trevor just treats him like a brother. He's not even four. Amazing.

I am not sure if Trevor will be the next American idol, president, or a famous athlete. But he seems to have IT. Maybe all parents think this at some point. I truly believe this about him.

Trevor and Darren are so unique...two completely different people just born on the same day.

Darren

Tonight, I found myself just watching Darren. He was taking a bath and was truly enjoying submersing the yellow plastic cup underwater, lifting it up, an then pouring the water on his chest. He did it over and over again....and he was happy each and every time. Darren is simple. He enjoys the simple things and he simply loves. Shouldn't life be this simple for us all. Enjoy the moment, laugh, and love.

We are really focusing now on "why" Darren isn't talking. His receptive language (what he understands) has really come a LONG way. He is definitely connecting more with his environment, and is making great sounds. Darren no longer uses his pacifier or sippy cups. We just started him on the gluten free diet. It's been a week now, and so far, we are very pleased. I met with his nutritionalist last week and did some fine tuning with his personal program. We added an omega-3 liquid supplement, along with his continued custom compound vitamin supplement. The whole bio-chemical aspect is quite fascinating and mind boggling actually. But, it is only one aspect of his treatment.

His ABA/VB is crucial. He has three wonderful therapist that come to the house throughout the week. They are young and full of energy (thank god) and do a wonderful job at pushing Darren out of his comfort zone and taking his skills to the next level.

And if that's not enough, he also has combined occupational therapy and speech therapy once a week. He is a very busy toddler in many, many ways. PLUS, he goes to school 5 days a week! Amazing....

Well, hopefully that gives you a good perspective on where he is, and more importantly, where he's going. Next stop Trevor.....

The Journey

Day 1-My hope is to use this space to share our journey. As with any family, everyday brings new experiences and challenges. Our Wonder Twins seem to have a story of their own to share. It's hard to believe that they are almost four. People ask me, "Hasn't the time gone by fast?". Actually, no. It seems like they should be 25 by now! Having twins IS different, AND, on top of that, having a child with autism just throws a whole new spin on things. I hope to be able to present the realness of this dynamic duo. The good, bad, and everything else in between. Darren's battle is both inspiring and exhausting. Trevor's personality is quite the same. They have always provided a balance for one another and have done so without words. Maybe it's just an inner understanding. Trust me, everyday I try to figure it all out. I am learning a lot along the way. Some weeks there's a lot to talk about, some weeks there's a lot to pray about. I invite you all to laugh with us....cry with us...be inspired....share this journey with us.