A Day in the Life of Darren and Trevor

I want to make sure that everyone realizes that their relationship is special, but not perfect. I guess I talk so much about how wonderful they are because I think I would have been happy if they just tolerated each other. But I can actually tell that they love each other. In Darren's world, an autistic world of separating one's self, he has a brother who invades his space each and everyday. In Trevor's world, he has had to try so hard for attention and acceptance, that NOW, he has become a person who easily makes friends and is happy to please. They can't sit and have conversations. Trevor will tell you, " Darren can't talk yet, we have to teach him". But they have a connection of some kind. It's not something that I can absolutely describe, I just know in my heart that they both will be better people because they have each other.

Our version of basketball.

We have a little basketball hoop downstairs and every now and then enjoy shootin' some hoops...toddler style. Trevor does his thing, lay-ups, passing, him telling you how to play defense etc. Darren is usually observing from the stairs. When it's Darren's turn to score, Trevor say'" Darren, it's your turn." Darren immediately comes down the stairs, we make him either sign or say ball, and then will take the ball and slams it in the hoop. We clap, he jumps and flaps his hands and Trevor and I resume our game.

Football...

Trevor and I huddle and decide on a play. Trevor says," Hut one, Hut two, Hike!" He grabs the ball and runs. I grab Darren's hand and say'" Come on Darren, let's get Trevor!". As Darren begins to laugh, we run hand in hand, to get Trevor. Trevor scores a touchdown. I say,"Trevor scored a touchdown Darren" and I raise my hands. He raises his hands and looks to Trevor for a high five. They high five and we do it all over again, many, many times.

Darren HATES the word NO. What toddler doesn't. But Darren's temper is quick and fiesty. Trevor used to be hesitant to correct Darren, but not anymore. Trevor will almost too quickly tell Darren no, to which Darren will get very mad and hit. They fight like brothers, what can I say? Actually, I can honestly say that I don't mind it. I like that they are passionate. I like it when they fight. It shows emotion on both sides and it shows that they are willing to stand their own ground. That has to mean something.

I hope this gives a fair insight on their relationship. I am just SO thankful that they have each other.

Trevor

Where do I even begin??? I think that the video gives you an idea of the character that we have on our hands. Trevor has personality that is beyond my comprehension. He is an emotional, dramatic, loving, and talented little boy. From the day that child was born, he has always been the one who has been able to bring every single emotion that I have in my body, to the surface. You see, Trevor wears his emotions on his sleeve. I don't. He pushes me out of my comfort zone every single day and I'd like to think that I provide structure for him that keeps his emotions in check. A team. That's what we were when Mark went away for a week. "Mommy remember we said we were a team, and that's why I get to sleep in your bed while Daddy's gone?" Can't fight team! But in all fairness, as soon as Mark returned, he went back to his regular routine.

My favorite Trevor story is his first day of pre-school. He goes three days a week to Truro Episcopal. When I picked him up I naturally asked how his day went. He said, "we prayed." I asked him if the whole class prayed or just him. He responded," I prayed twice....I love my people, I love my mommy, my daddy, my grandma and grandpap (who were in town) I love Darren, I love my chair, and my cars....I love my people." WOW, some first day!!! He's a trip, seriously.

The thing is, he truly DOES love his people. He feels connected to people, and they to him. What inspires me most is his unconditional love for his brother. He tries SO hard to play with him, share with him, and even discipline him, but it seems easy for him to just love him. He knows that Darren doesn't talk. I think in his own way he knows that Darren is different. Trevor just treats him like a brother. He's not even four. Amazing.

I am not sure if Trevor will be the next American idol, president, or a famous athlete. But he seems to have IT. Maybe all parents think this at some point. I truly believe this about him.

Trevor and Darren are so unique...two completely different people just born on the same day.

Darren

Tonight, I found myself just watching Darren. He was taking a bath and was truly enjoying submersing the yellow plastic cup underwater, lifting it up, an then pouring the water on his chest. He did it over and over again....and he was happy each and every time. Darren is simple. He enjoys the simple things and he simply loves. Shouldn't life be this simple for us all. Enjoy the moment, laugh, and love.

We are really focusing now on "why" Darren isn't talking. His receptive language (what he understands) has really come a LONG way. He is definitely connecting more with his environment, and is making great sounds. Darren no longer uses his pacifier or sippy cups. We just started him on the gluten free diet. It's been a week now, and so far, we are very pleased. I met with his nutritionalist last week and did some fine tuning with his personal program. We added an omega-3 liquid supplement, along with his continued custom compound vitamin supplement. The whole bio-chemical aspect is quite fascinating and mind boggling actually. But, it is only one aspect of his treatment.

His ABA/VB is crucial. He has three wonderful therapist that come to the house throughout the week. They are young and full of energy (thank god) and do a wonderful job at pushing Darren out of his comfort zone and taking his skills to the next level.

And if that's not enough, he also has combined occupational therapy and speech therapy once a week. He is a very busy toddler in many, many ways. PLUS, he goes to school 5 days a week! Amazing....

Well, hopefully that gives you a good perspective on where he is, and more importantly, where he's going. Next stop Trevor.....

The Journey

Day 1-My hope is to use this space to share our journey. As with any family, everyday brings new experiences and challenges. Our Wonder Twins seem to have a story of their own to share. It's hard to believe that they are almost four. People ask me, "Hasn't the time gone by fast?". Actually, no. It seems like they should be 25 by now! Having twins IS different, AND, on top of that, having a child with autism just throws a whole new spin on things. I hope to be able to present the realness of this dynamic duo. The good, bad, and everything else in between. Darren's battle is both inspiring and exhausting. Trevor's personality is quite the same. They have always provided a balance for one another and have done so without words. Maybe it's just an inner understanding. Trust me, everyday I try to figure it all out. I am learning a lot along the way. Some weeks there's a lot to talk about, some weeks there's a lot to pray about. I invite you all to laugh with us....cry with us...be inspired....share this journey with us.